Kaitou Kid Visits Mathville
by CSakuraS
Summary: Kid thinks he's finally found what he's been looking for, but it happens to be in a very strange place...


1 Thanks to a very strange Algebra assignment and watching too much Detective Conan episodes featuring Kid, I came up with this story. It's definetly not my best work, but it was enough to introduce one of my favorite characters to my friends and get me an A. I thought I'd put it up for a laugh. ^_^  
  
2  
  
3 Kaitou Kid Visits Mathville  
  
High on the top of Polynomial Tower stood a ghost. A white phantom complete with cape and top hat, enshrouded in the darkness of the night except for the full moon's glorious spotlight. The show was about to begin.  
  
Kid the Phantom Thief had been to many places. It was amazing the number of priceless gems scattered about his own country, but sometimes it was necessary for his heists to go elsewhere. After all, his father, the first Kid, was wanted internationally. It would arouse suspicion if the legendary Kaitou Kid just suddenly focused on one country.  
  
Which is one of the reasons why he had come to Mathville. A queer place, hidden in the very corner of the world. Kid had never even heard about the place before three weeks ago, when he was checking the newspaper for news of his exploits. There was an article about a special jewel being shown to the public for only a limited amount of time. Its name: the Point- Slope Function. A strange name for a strange jewel. But the picture accompanying the article showed that it was breathtakingly beautiful as well. It also happened to show another small gem hidden within.  
  
The Pandora Gem. The gem that could cry tears of immortality when in the moonlight. The gem that both he and the mysterious men in black, his father's murderers, were after. Of course, he only wanted to destroy it at all costs.  
  
Yet stealing the Point-Slope Function wouldn't be easy. A fake permission slip for a field trip to Mathville was enough to please his mother, and Inspector Nakamori had excepted his challenge letter with no problem. The real difficulty lay in planning the actual heist. Normally his creativity as a magician and the "art" of being a thief helped him a great deal, but in Mathville- well, this place just wasn't normal.  
  
For starters, the people here were nuts. Their language revolved around mathematical equations and complicated formulas. Nearly everyone wore glasses and walking the streets without a calculator was seen as sinful. Second, everything had to be exact. Every building was symmetrical and every number, whether it be a tip at a restaurant or something as trivial as the number of steps it took to reach one's destination, had to be counted. Whoever named this place had a sense of humor.  
  
Kid wasn't laughing. In an environment so orderly and unbearably flawless, security was sure to be strict. Furthermore, for an unpredictable young teenager such as himself, it was hard just getting around, let alone devise an escape plan.  
  
And there was always the chance that those men in black might show up…  
  
All in all, it would be a challenging experience, and more than likely test all the tricks he'd developed over his short career. It was almost enough to crack his impenetrable Poker Face.  
  
So there he was. Standing on the roof of Polynomial Tower (every city had some kind of tall building), and still wondering whether he'd come out of this mess alive without any handcuffs on his wrists. He'd decided on improvising opposed to coming up with a particular strategy. It would serve to be his best defense in such a situation, but that didn't mean he wasn't worried. Kid turned his attention to the nearby Coordinate Museum, leaped off the building, and soared in its direction on his trusty hanglider.  
  
"Hey, does anyone know what time it is?"  
  
"It is exactly two minutes and thirty-nine seconds until the time announced, Inspector."  
  
"Er, thanks."  
  
"And that is the fifteenth time you've asked in the last twenty minutes, sir."  
  
"Uh, yeah."  
  
"And including the six hours since your arrival, you have asked the same question exactly two hundred, seventy three times, Inspector."  
  
"Hey, what's your name?"  
  
"Jonathan Boxplot, sir!"  
  
"Good, good. Then why don't you go down to the police station and plot that all down on a graph, eh?"  
  
"Would you like that to be a line graph, circle graph, or bar graph, sir?"  
  
"Whatever you want. Just go."  
  
Inspector Nakamori was having a hard time controlling himself. It was stressful enough having to figure out Kid's coded message, but the citizens of Mathville, even the police officers, were really trying his patience. What in the world was wrong with these people? Was math all that they ever talked about? It was insane!  
  
Suddenly there was an explosion and, materializing from a giant puff of pink smoke, the familiar figure of Kid the Phantom Thief was perched on the roof of the Coordinate Museum.  
  
"Kid!" Nakamori shouted, leering up at his foe.  
  
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Inspector Nakamori!" Kid grinned. "I'm somewhat surprised to find you here. I figured you'd still be stuck somewhere in the middle of Exponent Street, judging from your lack of brains."  
  
"Why you-!" growled Nakamori, crushing the cup full of hot coffee in his hand. There was a brief moment filled with screams of pain before he managed to point (with his unscalded hand, of course) at the thief and screech, "Catch him, you fools!"  
  
The police unit made a mad dash at the museum.  
  
Kid, feeling less confident than he showed, quickly decided on using one of his more simple tricks, just to see how they would react. With a snap of his fingers, flocks of doves appeared out of thin air and dove (no pun intended) down on the unsuspecting Mathville security.  
  
To his and the Inspector's surprise, the officers stopped right in their tracks and beamed at the birds with childlike awe. Then, one by one, they began counting them.  
  
"One dove, two doves, three doves, four doves, five doves…"  
  
Oh, this was too good! Kid's grin grew wider, his Poker Face once again threatening to collapse, though this time for a completely different reason. And he had actually been worried! This heist, which might also be his last one if the Point-Slope Function had the Pandora Gem within, was going to be a piece of cake!  
  
Inspector Nakamori, on the other hand, was speechless with rage. He danced like a mad man, pointing, nursing his hand, growling, and occasionally stomping on his own feet.  
  
With the cops preoccupied, all it took was a swift bit of lock picking to break into the museum. The next step was to disconnect all the alarms and traps set up by the ever-resourceful Inspector Nakamori. Too easy! In no time, he had successfully snuck into the particular exhibit and pocketed the jewel. Now for his escape.  
  
As a magician, Kaitou Kid always prided himself in making flashy entrances and getaways. And seeing how this heist was going, it seemed a perfect chance to show these math geeks what he was capable of. Instead of leaving the way he came in, Kid headed for the front exit, where the police force was currently counting their three hundred and fifty eighth dove. He slipped right into the crowd, properly disguising himself as an officer in the blink of an eye, and edged right out, dazedly pointing at his own doves in a perfect imitation.  
  
As soon as he'd gotten a good distance away from the counting zombies, he snapped his fingers, and the doves disappeared in a puff of smoke. An altogether satisfying final act.  
  
He turned to leave, when a firm hand clamped down on his shoulder. Suddenly he was turned around, and Kid found himself face to face with a large man with tiny spectacles.  
  
"Stop right there!"  
  
Thanking the fact that he still had the police uniform on, Kid straightened up and saluted. "Yes, sir!" He didn't know what position this guy was in, but he sure seemed important, and it was better to be safe than sorry.  
  
"I'm Detective Coefficient."  
  
Great. Another detective. There was one in every city.  
  
"Where do you think you're going?"  
  
"To report to Inspector Nakamori, sir! I have some information on that thief!"  
  
"Then tell it to me, and I'll report it."  
  
"Sorry, sir, but I was specifically told to give it to him in person."  
  
The detective eyed Kid with suspicious eyes, then asked, "What's the password?"  
  
"Password?" Think, Kid, think! "Uh…axis of symmetry…?"  
  
Detective Coefficient blinked.  
  
Kid waited with bated breath.  
  
The detective sighed, and nodded. "Go on."  
  
Unbelievable.  
  
Inspector Nakamori was not in a good mood. He cursed everything in sight, but his favorite victim was always a certain clever thief who had outsmarted him once again.  
  
He only stopped once he was in the presence of the museum owner, and then still muttered profanities under his breath.  
  
The owner was understandably upset. "Dear, dear, what a tragedy. After fifty eight years, six months, nine days and forty five minutes of keeping our treasure safe, to think it has been stolen by some petty thief!"  
  
"That's nothing petty about that thief…" Nakamori grumbled.  
  
"All the same, our city has lost its pride and joy. How will we ever prosper without our priceless Parabola Gem?"  
  
"Para what?"  
  
"The Parabola Gem. It is a small gem hidden within the Point-Slope Function. It is said that when shone in moonlight, it will cry tears of all answers. Whoever has the gem will be able to solve any equation in the world."  
  
So the heist at Mathville was a success. The men in black didn't show up, and the whole thing hadn't been as challenging as he'd thought. And though the famous Kaitou Kid was unable to find the Pandora Gem this time, he never had trouble in his math classes ever again.  
  
The End. 


End file.
